I'm not racing Lake Geneva tomorrow. Instead I'll be spectating the Wheels on Willy Crit. Where's my mind? Where's my fitness. Both are shot, my brain isn't in cycling right now, it's not really anywhere, I'm just floating along, going through daily motions, not feeling one way or the other. The 1 mountain bike ride I've done felt fine, I couldn't really push myself, and I wasn't relaxed at all. Physically, I'm nowhere near where I want to be. I get tired after 20 miles, 30 almost killed me a couple of weeks ago. WTF?! Between 50hrs a week and 4 fucking dogs I have no time. It seems impossible to make time. Today for instance: Up at 5:30am, outside with the dogs, put the puppies away, sip some coffee and walk Charlie and Lucy - it's now 8:30am, I'm back from the walk, Megan has left for work, the house is a mess and I need to leave in 30 minutes for my job. I could have rode to work today, but since I didn't get back from the walk in time, I surely would have been late, no amount of time trialing at my fitness would have got me to work in under an hour.
EDIT: I need a different job. Something back in the bike industry. Jeff at Revolution, I'm looking to you to save my soul.
4 comments:
The black of hole of bike shop employment has got you. The dense black smudges around the edges? Chain grime. The rushing sound? Customers blabbering. That golden, foamy swirl near the center? Cheap beer. Mmm, you're coming home. No escape.
Get out and stay out. The call will always be there, it still resonates in my soul. Need a fix; work on a flat at a crack house. Going back will always be worse than how you see it in your head. Do something different to show lawyers there is more to life.
If you want to work on bikes so badly come work on my 1x8... I pay in Ale Asylum
mmmmm.....beer.....
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